-300mm.jpg){kind=logo}
This article has been adapted from episode 145 of The Aspiring psychologist Podcast. If you prefer you can listen here or watch here.
In a deeply moving episode of the Aspiring Psychologist Podcast, Dr. Marianne Trent sits down with Caroline Roodhouse, author of Daddy Blackbird as she discusses her journey through grief following the sudden and tragic loss of her husband, Steve, to suicide. Caroline’s story is not just one of personal loss, but also of resilience, healing, and finding ways to support her children through an unimaginable experience.
The Sudden Loss
Caroline’s life was forever changed when her husband, Steve, took his own life. The shock and trauma of losing a loved one so suddenly and unexpectedly is something that many people struggle to comprehend. Caroline recounts the moment she received the news, describing it as a moment of profound disbelief and devastation. The lack of compassion from those who delivered the news only compounded the pain, making the situation even harder to bear.
Supporting Her Children
One of the most heart-wrenching challenges Caroline faced was how to tell her young children that their father was gone. She describes the difficulty of finding the right words and the immense pain of seeing her children struggle to understand what had happened. Yet, even in her own grief, Caroline remained focused on supporting her children, recognising the importance of helping them process their emotions and come to terms with their loss.
The Concept of Daddy Blackbird
In the midst of their grief, Caroline and her children found solace in the concept of “Daddy Blackbird.” This idea provided them with a sense of comfort and connection to Steve, helping them navigate the complex emotions that come with losing a loved one to suicide. The blackbird became a symbol of Steve’s presence in their lives, offering a way for Caroline and her children to feel close to him even after his death.
Addressing the Complexities of Grief After Suicide
Grieving after a suicide is often complicated by feelings of guilt, anger, and unanswered questions. Caroline bravely addresses these emotions, sharing how she has managed her own anger and confusion while also supporting her children through their grief. She highlights the importance of being open about these feelings and seeking help when needed, acknowledging that it’s okay to feel a wide range of emotions during such a difficult time.
Mental Health Advocacy and the Animation Project
Caroline’s journey through grief has also led her to become an advocate for mental health. She has been involved in an animation project that aims to raise awareness about suicide and the impact it has on those left behind. Through this project, Caroline hopes to encourage more compassionate conversations around mental health and suicide, and to help others who may be going through similar experiences.
Writing “Daddy Blackbird”
Caroline’s experiences and the concept of Daddy Blackbird have inspired her to write a book, which she describes as being divided into three sections. The book aims to provide support and comfort to others who are grieving, especially those dealing with the loss of a loved one to suicide. Caroline shares her hopes that the book will be a resource for both adults and children, helping them navigate the complex emotions that come with grief.
Dr Marianne's Advice:
Addressing Anger in Grief: Anger is often a secondary emotion, arising from more primary feelings such as sadness, disappointment, or a sense of abandonment. She praised Caroline for helping her children identify and discuss these primary emotions, which can reduce the need for secondary emotions like anger .
Importance of Safe Spaces for Children: Dr Marianne highlighted the importance of creating a non-judgmental, compassionate environment where children feel safe to express both their best and worst selves. She emphasised that allowing children to freely express their emotions without fear of judgment can mitigate the impact of traumatic events like suicide within a family .
Developmental Understanding of Death: Dr. Marianne discussed the importance of helping children develop a clear, age-appropriate understanding of death. She suggested using straightforward language and providing space for curiosity, which is particularly challenging but crucial when dealing with the aftermath of a suicide .
Looking Ahead
As Caroline prepares for the launch of her book, she continues to focus on healing and supporting her children. She remains committed to raising awareness about mental health and suicide, and to helping others find hope and comfort in their own journeys through grief.
Conclusion
Caroline Roodhouse’s story is a powerful reminder of the resilience of the human spirit. Her ability to navigate such profound loss, while also supporting her children and advocating for mental health awareness, is truly inspiring. For anyone dealing with grief or seeking to understand the impact of suicide on families, this episode of the Aspiring Psychologist Podcast offers valuable insights and comfort.
For more information about Caroline’s work and her upcoming book, “Daddy Blackbird,” head to: https://daddyblackbird.com/ connect with her on LinkedIn and stay tuned for the book launch.
Dr Marianne Trent is an ambassador for ataloss.org
Check out Dr Marianne's Book - The Grief Collective here.
Be the first in the loop when new podcast episodes land by signing up to Dr Marianne Trent's free weekly newsletter by clicking here.
Comments